Let's Face it

Is it just me, or is it a little awkward when you meet a facebook friend face to face after ‘talking’ to them mostly on facebook? The person I ran into today is a delightful person, someone I know fairly well; not too long ago I saw her at least once a week. I absolutely love and admire her. Since The Lupus, however, most of my dealings are with doctors, nurses and lab technicians. Friends, through no fault of their own, had begun to fade into a misty, not-where-I-am land. (I live in the land of the disappeared.)
Well, not long ago I started a facebook account as a lark--just to show my college aged children that I could do it. I didn’t use it or check it very often until my friend Wendy came over for lunch one day. I don’t remember what she said, but since that day I have been ‘on facebook’ at least once a day (usually more often than that.) I am having a blast with it! Not only is it is a way to stay in touch with friends but it’s a creative outlet for the writer imprisoned inside my cell-f. (I had not let her out for quite some time. She is still a little stunned; the light hurts her eyes, but she’s happy.)
When I (read: collective ‘I': cell-f, and the person to person me) ran into my friend at the library, for a split second I felt confused. I wondered just how to be.
You see, the facebook me can delete what I say if it comes out the wrong way. (Oh, sure, sometimes I get trigger happy and press enter and wish I could take it back. But even if I do commit a facebook faux pas I can always go back an entry later and tidy things up. But real-time face to face is different. I was exposed and vulnerable; I remembered what it is like to be human: invigorating, risky.
Now I am home again, and after having time to think about the encounter I realize that that split second in which I felt a little awkward was a break in the facebook-real-time continuum; a Heisenberg moment of uncertainty, an opportunity to choose: particle or wave? cell-f or self?; am I a continuously scintillating human being, or am I a semi-polished facebook persona? Or both?